schlagging.com

1337

Posted on August 27th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports, internet.

So I was on the ASU football homepage, trying to figure out what shit team they’re playing this weekend because my friend invited me to go tailgate and have some beers. I’m not opposed to this, as long as I’m not missing the Wildcats game. Anyway, on their site, they ask visitors how many games ASU will win. Of course, I am obligated to choose the lowest possible answer. I don’t know if they’re that bad, but the results were funny to me. If you don’t get it, don’t worry. That just means you’re not uber l33t h4xxor5.

1 comment.

Tribute

Posted on August 24th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports.

“I did it as a tribute to all the great mustaches in history. Tom Selleck, Chuck Norris, Ron Burgundy, Jesus.”

1 comment.

The King of Kings

Posted on August 21st, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports.

Coincidence? I think not.

0 comments.

RIP Chris Benoit, 1967-2007

Posted on June 25th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports.

I just heard news that pro wrestler Chris Benoit has died, along with his wife and son.

They haven’t released any details, but they have said they are investigating the deaths as homicide.

I’m not sure what to make of it all, but the wrestling community has lost one of the best.

Update: I don’t know what prompted him to do it, but officials have determined that Chris Benoit killed his wife and son over the weekend, and took his own life this morning. Something was wrong with that guy, after all.

Source: http://www.wwe.com/

2 comments.

Baseball Nerd

Posted on April 26th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports, technology.

My employer gave me a laptop yesterday for work and personal use. I took full advantage of this right off the bat (haha, sorry, I hate puns too) and brought it with me to Chase Field for the Padres/Dbacks game.

Why would I do such a thing? Well, if you had read my earlier post, you should know that I like to keep score at games when I fly solo. However, I kinda suck at it, and tend to make a mess and eventually give up after missing something.

To solve that problem, I found a program that lets me keep score on the computer. From there, I can create box scores/summaries, and upload them to this site.

To me, that’s quite exciting. To many of you, I’m sure you’re groaning and rolling your eyes at the uninterestingness of it all.

If you care to see, here’s a link to my first game using this software:
http://www.schlagging.com/baseball/2007.04.25_BOXSCORE.HTM

The only problem I ran into was not setting the lineups correctly with positions. Not a big deal. Other than that, I managed to get every out/hit/run/etc. Whoo!

P.S. - Darrell wrote a post that got me thinking about the WWE. If you’re at all interested in pro wrestling these days, head on over here and read his article (and the ensuing comments).

0 comments.

We no can dunk, but we have good fundamentals

Posted on April 17th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports.

I got an email from Downtown Live, the Phoenix organization that handles events and promotions in the downtown area.

At first, I was excited. This is what I saw:

Amare Stoudemire! Awesome! So they’re giving me a ticket? To the playoffs? That can’t be right.

I then scrolled down a little bit and saw the horrible truth:

Damn.

If anyone wants a Mercury ticket… Let me know. I guess.

3 comments.

Flying solo

Posted on April 16th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports, motorcycle.

There was a time when I would see someone sitting in a movie theater by himself and feel pity for him. Couldn’t he get a friend or two to come out that night? How sad.

I don’t see it that way anymore, though. As an adult living in a capitalist society, I know as well as any the pressures and stresses that can come in any given work week - personal and business related. Sometimes you just have to take a break from it all, and you don’t even want to put forth the effort to be social with even your closest friends.

When I want some time on my own, I’ll often take the bike for a spin around the city. This isn’t always the most relaxing thing, though, as riding a motorcycle requires you to be rather attentive to the task at hand. That’s why I love baseball season. It’s easy to head down to the ballpark, plop down a George Washington and an Abe Lincoln and catch a Dbacks game. I’ll usually grab a hot dog, some sunflower seeds, and a soda/beer. Then I’ll get my scorecard ready, and soon enough it’s time to zone out for a couple of hours. Win or lose, it’s a nice relaxing atmosphere. Even if there’s a row of junior high kids behind you, it’s usually easy to move over a section or two into some empty seats - so you don’t even have to put up with that.

I did this on Saturday night, and I noticed I wasn’t alone. Looking around, I spotted a guy in his 30’s hanging out with a bag of peanuts and a margarita. Another guy was listening to the radio broadcast and was sprawled out over a couple of seats.

So obviously I’m not alone in this. To me, baseball games are a guy’s version of going to a day spa. We have some of our favorite things in endless supply - sports, food, and drinks. Who could ask for more?

That’s all that guy in the theater was doing: taking a little break from the stresses of life to just relax a bit and enjoying some alone time.

That, or he’s a pedophile searching for his next victim at the latest Disney flick.

2 comments.

The Colorado Rockies

Posted on April 4th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports.

…will never win a World Series.

I am a supporter of the idea that you need a solid pitching staff to make it to and win the World Series. This is something I don’t believe the Rockies can ever truly attain.

Pro ball players want money, sure - but they also want good stats, and they want to win. They will not have good stats in Colorado (home of the mile high dinger). This will be a thought on the minds of most free agents considering Colorado as an option. That in mind, they could probably get comparable money somewhere else, where the air isn’t so thin. Maybe someone from the Colorado organization can disprove my statements, but I think those factors make it very (very very very) hard to build not only a good starting rotation, but also a good bullpen.

Without the pitchers, they won’t win. Period. They will sit at or near the bottom of the NL West most of the time, and occasionally creep up to third place at the end of the season. Even if they manage to make it into the playoffs, I still won’t give them any credit. If they win it all, I think it will be in a different city - they will continue to do poorly for years, start to lose a lot of money, and ownership will move them eventually.

I am so confident of this, that I have bet my brother a crisp Benjamin Franklin that the Colorado Rockies (as a team located in Colorado) will not win the World Series by 2050. Yeah, 2050. This is a potentially 43 year long bet. If they win it all, Danny wins. If they leave Denver, I win.

You heard it here, folks. You are my witnesses to this bet.

Humidors be damned.

2 comments.

Copy and paste, in the name of baseball

Posted on April 2nd, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports.

Source: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/7birkemeier.html

Opening Day Genesis.
BY GLENN BIRKEMEIER

In the big inning, God created Heaven on Earth. And it was without form, and void. God separated the dirt from the grass. He called the grass Outfield and the dirt He called Infield. God made the Infield a 90-foot square and the Outfield not less than 400 feet to center and 320 feet down the lines. He declared this Fair Territory. All other territory, God then declared, was Foul.

And God divided the players into two teams of nine players each, under direction of a manager, to play The Game on His field. God called some of these players Pitchers and some of them Hitters. He placed a Pitcher precisely 60 feet 6 inches from a Hitter. Then God commanded that it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the ol’ Ballgame.

And God granted jurisdiction of The Game to lesser Gods, whom He called Umpires. God said the Umpires are infallible, blessed with Heavenly authority, whose judgment is not to be questioned under penalty of expulsion from The Game. And God looked at his creation and He was pleased. Then God created the Infield Fly Rule to confuse nonbelievers.

And God said, Let there be light beer, and there was. And, God said, let there be peanuts and hot dogs and overpriced souvenirs and let there be frosty chocolate malts with little wooden spoons that you can buy nowhere else except at this Heaven, which God called a Ballpark, and there was. God looked at His creation and it was good.

And the Lord God formed, from the dust, a collection of elite players in His own image. The Lord God then breathed the breath of life into His creation. God called this creation the National League.

And God said, It is not good for the National League to be alone. The Lord God shall make it a mate. And thus, while the National League slept, God took several of its top players and created the American League.

And God blessed The Game, saying, Be fruitful and multiply. Put teams in every city with deserving fans, God added, even if this occurs at the expense of starting-pitching depth.

From time to time, God understood, The Game would be corrupted by the Serpent. The Serpent was more cunning than any other beast and he would take many wicked forms: the Black Sox, segregation, the Designated Hitter, the Reserve Clause, dead balls, juiced balls, spit balls, corked bats, George Steinbrenner, AstroTurf, the 1981 strike, collusion, lockouts, Pete Rose, the 1994 strike, greenies, cocaine, HGH, Andro, steroids, $20 parking, corporate mallparks, Scott Boras, Donald Fehr, and Bud Selig.

But, God said, the goodness in The Game shall always prevail. As needed, the Lord shall bestow upon The Game a Savior. And the Savior, like the Serpent, can take many forms. The Savior shall remind Fans how blessed The Game truly is. The Savior shall be called by many names, including Cy, Matty, Honus, Big Train, the Babe, Wrigley Field, Fenway Park, Lou Gehrig, Branch Rickey, Jackie Robinson, Buck O’Neil, Hank Greenberg, Red Barber, Harry Carey, Vin Scully, Jack Buck, Satchel Paige, Bill Veeck, Roberto Clemente, Ernie Banks, Hammerin’ Hank, Cool Papa, Dizzy, Lefty, Whitey, Stan the Man, Big Klu, the Say Hey Kid, Campy, Duke, the Mick, the Splendid Splinter, the Gas House Gang, the Big Red Machine, the Damn Yankees, Pudge Fisk, Pudge Rodriguez, Yaz, Pops, the Wizard of Oz, Fernando, George Brett, Moonlight Graham, Roy Hobbs, Wild Thing Vaughn, Bingo Long, the Ryan Express, Donnie Baseball, Rickey, Eck, the Big Unit, the Cactus League, Cal Ripken, Tony Gwynn, Camden Yards, Rotisserie Drafts, Web Gems, Derek Jeter, Dontrelle Willis, Vlad Guerrero, and, from the Far East, Ichiro. And, God guaranteed, there are many more to come.

God looked upon His creation and He was very pleased. And God spoke, yelling, PLAY BALL!

I only made one edit. It’s pretty obvious why.

1 comment.

Bracketology

Posted on March 14th, 2007 by Josh.
Categories: sports, tv, technology.

It’s official. I love March Madness.

If I didn’t already have tickets to see Flogging Molly on St. Patrick’s Day, I would have booked a room in Vegas and spent tomorrow through Sunday in the sports books. But I do, so I didn’t.

To satisfy my bracketlust (it’s a new word, I just made it up, maybe it’ll be on urbandictionary.com by the end of the day), I’ve filled out ten eleven brackets, all with the same picks. Why ten? The prizes, man! Why the same picks? When it comes to sports and betting I can be superstitious and if I have different sets of picks, then my lack of faith will be found disturbing by the sports gods and I will be spited.

• Yahoo (via Orbital)
• Yahoo (via U-Haul)
• ESPN (via Josh Phillips)
• ESPN (via Deadspin.com)
• Facebook (Bear Down group)
• Facebook (Zona Zoo group)
• Cingular/ATT Wireless (through my phone.. and yes, it was painful to make my selections via the mobile web - can the iPhone come soon enough?)
• CNNSI
• CBS Sportsline (via Mike)
• John McCain (I’m not even kidding, I think it’s hilarious, as much as I support the guy)
• azcentral (via Dad)

Thanks to technology, I have avoided becoming this guy, and have just kicked back and let everyone else set things up. I just have to make sure my picks are right.

And now, before I go, some stats on my picks without giving too much away:

• Arizona makes it to the second round before being eliminated - if they make it to the Sweet Sixteen I’m figuratively burning my brackets in a fit of joy
• six double digit seeded teams to make the second round
• one double digit seeded team in the sweet sixteen
• two number ones and two number twos in the final four
• a number two seed wins it all

Edit: Here is my bracket. Feel free to praise/criticize.

Also, if you’re not close to a TV, never fear, CBS is streaming games online! Go here to sign up: http://www.ncaasports.com/mmod/welcome

0 comments.

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